In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
