Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
