I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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