So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
