So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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