Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
