You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
