you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
