Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize