Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize