Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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