Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
