woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
