Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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