i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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