we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
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