Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
