just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
