if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
