dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
did you just send me my own nude
how drunk are you?
Several
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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