Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
