This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize