Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
