ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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