I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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