You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
