he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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