I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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