Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
