I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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