So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
