Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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