My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
