is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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