there's paper in my vomit.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
