so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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