ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
and she was petting her beer can
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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