I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
