Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize