She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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