You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
