just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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