oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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