Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
