the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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