He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
