we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
