I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize