Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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