We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
