it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
