you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
