i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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