pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
