If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
