ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
