A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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