I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
