Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
