I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
