Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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