come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
